This is for me. Writing it out might help. I’m in one those moods; grumpy, low self-esteem, despondent. I think it’s because my sleep pattern has been disrupted, because university started. Hello 8:00 am, it’s been a while.

It could also be because university started. Being surrounded by the swarming mass of braying, drooling, simple-minded idiots that constitute the architecture department always has a way of making me feel dread for humanity. There’s this new trend I’m noticing among the guys; growing out their hair in a frumpy afro. It’s given the university a new homeless-shelter appearance, because naturally they have to pair this new hairstyle with the latest tattered clothing. Pants that are either too-tight or hanging off their ass, the over-powering smell of cologne as though they bathe in it (if they bathe at all), the grunge t-shirts featuring broken English.

There’s a picture on Twitter I saw recently of Libyan men in the 1950s. Tailored suits, clean-shaven, confident, and walking down the pristine streets of a Libya that had not yet seen the plague of Gadhafi. Is it Gadhafi’s fault that this generation is so trashy and vapid?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a 60-year old grouch that yells at kids to get off their property (that’s my dad). I just don’t think acting young and carefree means having to act like an airhead.

The whole Boston event was pretty depressing as well. The deaths and injuries, yes, but also the reactions. A Saudi man who participated in the marathon was questioned as a suspect, because he was the most Arab looking person from those running away from the explosion.

Some Arabs/Muslims on Facebook and Twitter posted ‘PRAYING FOR SYRIA AND PALESTINE’, and ‘Why don’t events in the Middle East get the same attention?’

1. The media of the Middle East and the media of the West focus on what is pertinent to their viewers. AlJazeera did not discuss the Boston bombing the way CNN did. But when you’re online, and viewing things in ENGLISH, you’ll be more exposed to Western media.

2. There has been almost non-stop coverage of Syria since the beginning of their revolution. When a major event happens in Palestine, we find out. Writing a comment of solidarity with Boston does not negate this fact. I think the ability of critics to only notice  Western-aimed sympathy is a reflection of their mindset.

3. If I want to only talk about America, I will only talk about America. If I want to talk only about Arctic polar bears, I will only talk about Arctic polar bears. Telling a person what they should talk about or focus on undermines the basic tenets of free speech. If you’re concerned about the crisis in the Middle Easy, YOU talk about it, and not only mention it when a catastrophe happens in another part of the world.

So, yeah. Sometimes social media makes you want to put your head through a wall. But it was still cool when the term ‘Muslims’ began trending on Twitter, and it was mostly positive tweets defending Muslims. You get the bad with the good, as it goes.

The books I haven’t started reading yet are giving me accusatory looks. I really want to read something, but after a couple paragraphs I can no longer muster the interest or even strength to hold the book up. I don’t read as much as I used to.

There’s a joke on the internet that says if you diagnose yourself online, you’ll be convinced that you’re dying. I’m almost sure I have hypothyroidism or abdominal cancer.

The lights are currently off right now, across most of Benghazi, in preparation for the carnival tomorrow. There’s going to be a carnival tomorrow. The launch of Benghazi’s campaign as the Capital of Culture. Because we’re so whiny and demanding, we need to be called the capital of something. I have so much respect for the small towns and villages that are almost never mentioned but who quietly do their work and improve their small part of world without any recognition or praise. Benghazi’s become too strident, like a teenage girl that just began to develop and needs constant affirmation of how pretty she is or else she’ll have a tantrum.

Nouman Ali Khan said, “If you are offended when someone corrects you, you have an ego problem”. I probably have an ego problem, but my offense is a result of my embarrassment. And the fact that I love self-pity. And seeing myself as a wounded solider against all the injustice of humanity. Note to self: Work that out. Seriously. It’s unseemly.

I feel better now.